butterflies.

now how do you expect me to get any sleep with you haunting my bowels?

it seems to me, that the moment i rid you of my soul, 

you fly right on back inside of me.

i am always conscious of you.

can everyone else see them too?

how embarrassing that must be for those who do see.

you are a part of me.

i cannot or refuse to force you to stay away.

but i will not allow you to settle in my heart. 

you have been there before and that did not make anyone happy.

so stay in my bowels my little friend. 

 you make me smile every time i feel you fly. 

but please settle soon, people are beginning to ask questions. <3

perspective

"life is the ability to feel so happy, you think your insides are going to explode. 

it's being so upset or disappointed, you feel as if your stomach just dropped ten feet out of place.

it's running so hard, you can barely breathe.

it's the feeling of panic when you know you've been caught doing something wrong. 

it's having that sudden rush before you kiss someone you care about. 

it's opening your eyes and feeling them sting because you spent the whole night crying. 

it's letting people go because new ones come in, and all the while 

realizing that life doesn't have a purpose 

unless you let it." <3

lets test those ears of yours my dear :)

sometimes we feel like little fireflies

free

bright

safe

until walls of glass encompass your world and you begin to panic.

you begin to suffocate in this mysterious jail

only when you fall and begin to lose your light does the curious child realize you are not enjoying your new home.

you plead and beg that the child will release you. 

with a confused look, the child opens the lid and you find yourself and fly free.

but how often does the child ignore your pleads?

through the greeks we learn

Agamemnon ignored his daughter Iphigenia when she plead for him 

to save her from his priests who wanted to sacrifice her

 for good weather on the sail across the sea to the war of troy.

he was her father.

she loved him.

but he didnt listen.

be like the child 

dont be stupid. 

listen.

is that really so difficult? sometimes it only takes a few minutes--
--other times, a few seconds.

listening shows love and consideration and respect.

the only thing i would ever ask, is that you would just listen. <3

its all about the timing.

the epitame of awesomeness.

that cool lady up there?

shes my mom.

its her 32ndish birthday today :) 

(not really)

shes pretty awesome.

i kinda love her a bunch. she does EVERYTHING for me. Mom is full of jokes, sarcasm and is a great teacher. She makes the BEST dinners and there has never been one day that has gone by that i have not loved her any less.

she loves teaching her preschool and playing strategy games with the fam. She never stops giving and never stops loving. Mom has the most amazing testimony and has sacrificed so much for her beliefs. She is one of the stongest woman i have ever had the chance to know.

you should meet her. 

i think you would like her. 

i do. : ) <3

yearning for a dream just out of reach.

fingers tingling. 

heart stops beating.

earth stops spinning.

dreams begin colliding.

ballet. 

some people believe it is for sissy's.

then why does it take years of training before it even looks decent?

ballet.

peace.

resolve.

passion. 

heartbreak.

ballet.

ever since i was 3, dance has been my passion.

dance has been in the very marrow of my bones.

it is my drug.

my solace.

my regret.

if she ever knew how much i depended on it...how long i cried when she told me i could no longer have it.

i chose everything over dance. 

but you know moms-they want you to try everything to see if your talents lie elsewhere.

i say that music is my life. 

it is.

but i feel like, possibly in heaven, i was apart of a ballet.

ballet.

i have always desired with my soul for the wooden shoes that rip your feet apart.

willing to sacrifice my feet to the pain of passion and happiness.

there is nothing in the world i dream for more than to spend the rest of my life dedicated to it.

the year i returned to jazz, was the best year and a half of high school.

my biggest fear, is growing old-never having done anything with this yearning in my soul for dance. 

it eats at me day by day.

pricks my toes while sitting in school.

pulls at my waist when i walk.

ballet.

what is success to me?

confidence.

living dreams.

planting a garden.

never putting an end to what you love.

this is how i musicify my life. 

ballet.

midnight in my room.

dinner time in my kitchen.

waiting for shower water to boil.

late in the rain.

my free time, is dance.

 it means more than boys

food

money

love

freedom

it has been there when i could find nothing.

am i good?

no.

but who says "to have a passion, you must be good at it." <3

mixed feelings.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Maya Angelou

prom.

“You know, I just wanted to be Cinderella. Just for one night. One night where a guy would, would look at me under those corny-crate paper streamers and say, ‘you look so beautiful.’ And then he’d grab my hand and ask me to dance… isn’t that what prom is supposed to be about?"

i was watching glee the week after prom, and when mercedes said this line, i about died. 

i personally find it hilarious when your on a date with someone and they forget about you  because they are flirting with another girl. 

i laugh now at least. 

it was a good kick that i needed. high school is becoming a little overrated. 

but you know something? 

im still happy. 

my friends are leaving after this summer. i have no idea how that will feel. personally, i dont really want to. it will probably become way more difficult to leave choir! haha

but life goes on. 

birds still sing.

rain still falls. 

children still laugh.

love still exists whether you can find it now or it will come later. 

love still exists-and what else can matter? <3