backwards and insideout.

have you ever thought about how something completely opposite from you, can turn you upside-down and turned around from how your feeling or who you are?

not make any sense?

try this for a change.

im a strange person.

  thats just how life is. :) 

but im happy in my odd ways :)

...my best friends are all completely different. like...try comparing a tomato to a lawn chair different. but funny thought...

how is it that my best friend, the most negative person in the ENTIRE WORLD~seriously~makes me the HAPPIEST person in the world? it makes absolutely no sense. i spend much time with him and i listen as he complain about the small things-doing chores for his mom-simple things that arent the worst thing (he could be digging holes in the dessert!) but at the same time, hes humorous about it...that or i find it funny...and he laughs with me as i laugh at his complaining :)

it should bring down my spirits too shouldnt it? why is it that when EVERYONE else complains about everything, i get frustrated and wish that they would stop complaining....but when he complains...i get filled with little happy bugs? and then when i leave his house...i feel exposed because everyone can see how big im smiling :) and then i dance around my house for a little while..nbd. i dont think its his complaining that gets me that way...but. who knows :)

i am happy.

who makes you happy? <3

a crazy little thing called "love"

so chorale, (my school choir of 86 lovely souls) traveled to fox 10 news today and a close friend of mine since junior high and i were talking about kissing...

random?! awkward? ....interesting? -check yes to all of the above! haha

the conversation carried on for a long space of time until it came upon me talking about love.

love has no need to be extremely CONFUSING. love is love. its one of the most simple, yet, most complicated things ever known to man's feelings! ~literally..~ but talking about love with this boy...it filled me with joy to know that there was a boy out there doing something right. he believed he was in love, and i believe him. because love is...

1. he Knows how to make you smile when you are down. 

2. being happy everytime you are around the other person

3. Stick up for you but still be respectful of your independence.

4. Sacrifice things that they know they shouldnt be doing or thinking because the thought of hurting their lover would be too much to bear.

5. do little romantic things because thats the easiest way to show what she means

6. writes songs for his love (if he has that talent)

7. he could never bear the thought of lying to his love and the same for you.

8. really knows his lover...knows everything. and could never keep a deep dark secret.

9. Offer you plenty of massages-to relax the body and mind.

10.. Dance with you even if he feels like a dork.

11. Never run out of love.

12. Be funny, but knows when to be serious.

13... Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious..

14. Be patient in everything

15. its easy to be open, and if you arent open, he comfortably helps you to open up to him because he wants to make up for everything that has closed you.

16. you find yourself smiling at your every thought of him.

17. inside jokes. up to the brim and spilling over!!!

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive five hours just to see you for one hour.

21. Always give you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each other's company............... even when friends are watching.

22. he will sing for you, even if he can't.

23. He has a creative sense of humor... or develops one because he wants to make you smile.

24. if he stare at you...for no reason-he cant believe he found someone quite like you.

25. when he calls for no reason-you know he cant live without your voice.

these are only a few!!! but never believe that love does not exsist. love takes time. if you want it to last, you have to TRY. you have to keep hope until after you die.

your heart may break.

your lover may leave you for someone else.

your lover may die.

but there is someone, for everyone. if you give up-its more likely that you will never find that "one". love takes patience. love takes kindness. love takes time.

but hey, im just a kid. what am i worrying about? i cant think ill find a lover my senior year of high school-heh. :) i smile because i love my friends and who they make me. god loves me. god loves you. never convince yourself otherwise, cuz whether you believe it or not, it will be forever true. love exsists. <3

happiness.

so...i went on vacation to utah last week for thanksgiving break and realized how much i love my friends at home. i thought all about what it would be like if i had never had them in my life and how grateful for them i was. there has been so much going through my mind lately and life has been taking its crazy, spontaneous curls and all these little invisible walls keep smaking me in the face..watch out for those p.s. (they arent easily seen..heh) but i came to this solution:

friends are one of gods greatest gift :)

they may not always be around or have the time to tell you they love you,
but...

a BEST FRIEND loves you no matter what.

when i got home, my bestie poo sent me a message telling me he missed me...
and it just makes me want to scream thanks 
to my god for helping me to find someone 
as grand as holden.
ya. 
anyone can be jealous that that spaz of happiness, is one of my favorite best friends.

oh the feeling of being missed.

what could be better? 

i freaking love life right this second. :) <3

Groceries

who knew that by simply doing this...

with your momma could possibly be so enjoyable?!
...but so painful at the same time...

im so excited cuz i found me like the CUTEST pair of flats for winty winter formal at targe (im not a horrid speller because, yes. ehpasis on the french accent)! today has been a good day to live. :) <3>

a little piece of a reality check.

today was an interesting day, a best friend of mine discovered a taste of the stress i feel as a senior...but when i tried to discuss it...the subject was changed. i know it wasnt thier fault, but it ruined my day! later, in my choir class all i could think to myself was how badly i wanted anyone to notice that my day was just not going the way a good day should!

but.

as hard as a horse kicks, the thought popped into my head, "hey big whiny pants! stop complaining! you got a happy life. you are HAPPY where you are! dont let all these little things pile up and ruin your day!" 

then the bell rang.

its always the small things that get you down...but. 

simple things like... 

the smell of your dream car as you drive it home 

or a favorite song on the radio playing

or a gust of wind when suffering with what feels like heat stroke... :)

its those simple moments, the ones when you are overwhelmed with joy for something completely insignificant, those i could live my whole life sweltering in happiness for. <3

Smiling

its the boring days when nothing happens, that we take for granted.
Make everyday the new BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!

don't allow yourself to just sit and dwell on one single thing that
happened seconds, hours, days or even YEARS ago to
continue to bash down on your day.

don't forget to smile, especially when your sad.

smiles are contagious.

if you smile, you don't even know whose day you might brighten :)

<3

Responsibility

Sometimes, we try to convince ourselves that the louder we turn up the music...the easier it will be to shut up the voice in our head telling us what is the right choice. The problem is, we know that the feeling that is trying to communicate with us, is right. We are just too afraid to listen to it and accept the right decision. We all are afraid. Some call it pride, but its really fear but even then, people are still afraid to admit that they are afraid.

listen to that voice that is telling you to choose the right decisions. what would you prefer? potential happiness or relief of being discovered NOW...with a consequence that can eternally damage YOU and most likely those AROUND YOU?

or...pay for what you have done and earn respect and LEARN that there is a line between bad and good.

some may ask what the RIGHT decision is, its something that is healthy and righteous. We all know what is good. It's something that can be hard at times, but in the eternal perspective, will get you where you WANT to be.

check out this too...

"Peer Pressure

People who do wrong often want others to join them because they feel more comfortable knowing that others are doing wrong too. Those who are striving to live a righteous life may receive pressure from such individuals. This pressure is often strongest during childhood and teenage years, when there is a powerful need to be accepted by one's peers. The Lord will strengthen those who strive to maintain high standards regardless of what others may do or say."

im not perfect. neither are you. but just because we arent...that doesnt mean we cant work our butts off trying...because in the end, its our efforts that really count. because i believe there is a god who looks out for me and is cheering me on, everytime i do something better.

i love him. and im grateful for all i have.

responsibility.

  its one of those simple things that we must master, to master who we want to be. <3

the beginning.

hello blogging world! 

 today, was one beautiful day.

the sun was shinning, my toes were freezing, and the thought of winter coming was all that i could think about. 

 

how lucky we are to be able to live in a time such as this :) <3